Some Iraq Veteran

Like nearly everyone else, I’ve been passionately following the events in Haiti.  I don’t care where you fall on the issue of immigration, it’s impossible for a normal human being to read, hear and watch what’s happening without feeling compassion, empathy, sadness, and a host of other emotions.  My post here, though, isn’t to churn a debate on any issues surrounding the relief efforts in Haiti.  I’m just not the kind of guy who can write about stuff like that when it’s so fresh and emotional – I’d never be a good newsperson.

No, instead I’m writing because with Haiti in the news (and the comments from the French about us “occupying” the nation), it reminded me of something that occurred in the past.  My memory is pretty bad (remind me to tell you about me forgetting my wife’s grandmother’s funeral), but watching this unfold jogged a memory of something.  I may be wildly off, but here’s what came to mind:

Some years ago the U.S. Marines were in Haiti and the ROE forbade the Marines from using force under any circumstances other than self defense.  In other words, the Marines could not use force to interfere in a dispute between locals.  I vividly remember a photograph of a young, African American Marine, pistol unholstered, standing over a man who had been beaten, surrounded by a crowd.  I seem to recall that the Marine watched this man being beaten by the crowd, and fearing for the man’s life said “Fuck this” (I’m ad-libbing what he said, but having known a few Marines I feel pretty confident this statement went through his mind) and, in violation of U.S. policy, whipped out his pistol and held the crowd at bay.  He saved the man’s life.

Like I said, my memory may have butchered the events.  For some reason I think it was in the early 1980s, but I’m not sure the Marines were there then – maybe it was during Operation Uphold Democracy in the 1990s?  Maybe I’ve totally botched it and it was a different nation?  The photo was etched in my brain, and for whatever reason I associate that photo with the concept of the Strategic Corporal because as I remember it, once the photo hit the news U.S. policy was changed to permit the Marines to use force in defense of others.  It’s one of my favorite images and I used to have a copy of it but I lost it a few years ago.

Anyway, I can’t find the photograph anywhere.  If anyone has a link to that photo and could post it I would be thrilled.  Also, if anyone knows of the incident I am talking about and can correct my recollection I’ll send you a free Internets.

Ok, this may be of amusement only to me, but I’ll tell you guys real quickly how I almost became the Strategic Lieutenant.  I was in Kuwait and was driving one of those little rented SUVs down the road with my star NCO and we got lost in downtown Kuwait City (before you send the “lost lieutenant” jokes my way keep in mind I was DRIVING – there was an NCO in the TC slot, so hah!).  This was when we were coming through on our way back from Iraq.  We were in major traffic, stopped in the middle of some kind of huge market.  People were walking all over, and we were doing a poor job of maintaining situational awareness.  I had a cell phone with an emergency number taped to it, a pistol and one magazine.  For some reason I can’t remember, my NCO had  long rifle instead of an M4.

As we were stopped, I saw in the side view mirror this guy walking up behind the car reaching into his waistband.  He was wearing a really long shirt, and it looked very strange how he was reaching in to his pants, where he was located vis a vis our car, etc.  My blood froze and I reached down to yank my pistol out, and I started babbling about the guy behind us.  Well, when I reached down to pull that gat all my NCO knew was that we were very pasty faces in full uniform, stuck in traffic in Kuwait and his LT was freaking out while frantically trying to unholster a weapon.  The look on his face was shear terror, and I have to tell you this was a guy who I never saw afraid, ever, but he really looked like he had just shit his pants.  Hell, my arse nearly sucked all the upholstery off the seat.  He’s trying to swing that rifle around but he can’t because the damn cab of the SUV is so small, he’s so big and the M16 is so long.  I’m trying to get my pistol out, but I can’t because I had it snapped and I got tangled in the seatbelt.  I’m watching this guy in the side view mirror pulling his shirt up and reaching into his waistband and I’m thinking “We just got out of Iraq and we’re going to get gunned down in a Kuwaiti flea market.”  I cannot overemphasize what tourists we must have looked like that day, and how much like the keystone cops we acted.

So, as I’m watching the dude pulls out … a cell phone and walks on by.  Four things occurred to me: (1) I needed to lay off watching The Shield (I had been watching the series on my little DVD player at night), (2) Who the hell keeps a cell phone in their waistband, (3) If that guy intended to shoot some American Soldiers stuck in traffic, he would have easily accomplished it because our sense of security that day was fucking awful, and (4) If I had shot a man in broad daylight in a crowded market situated in a friendly nation solely for using his cell phone, there surely would have been some kind of policy change on something and I would have made the evening news.  I most certainly would have been the Strategic Lieutenant, but not in a good way.  I have no idea what the Status of Forces Agreement (or whatever legal document controls our relationship with Kuwait) says, but I can picture myself being imprisoned in a Kuwaiti jail.

My NCO was so pissed I had made him nearly shit his pants that he wouldn’t speak to me on the way back.  Every now and then he’d just lean over and punch me in the arm as hard as he could.

Sorry for the war story, and the seemingly unrelated train of thoughts I just expelled on to your screen. 

-Dacker