Some Iraq Veteran

Like nearly everyone else, I’ve been passionately following the events in Haiti.  I don’t care where you fall on the issue of immigration, it’s impossible for a normal human being to read, hear and watch what’s happening without feeling compassion, empathy, sadness, and a host of other emotions.  My post here, though, isn’t to churn a debate on any issues surrounding the relief efforts in Haiti.  I’m just not the kind of guy who can write about stuff like that when it’s so fresh and emotional – I’d never be a good newsperson.

No, instead I’m writing because with Haiti in the news (and the comments from the French about us “occupying” the nation), it reminded me of something that occurred in the past.  My memory is pretty bad (remind me to tell you about me forgetting my wife’s grandmother’s funeral), but watching this unfold jogged a memory of something.  I may be wildly off, but here’s what came to mind:

Some years ago the U.S. Marines were in Haiti and the ROE forbade the Marines from using force under any circumstances other than self defense.  In other words, the Marines could not use force to interfere in a dispute between locals.  I vividly remember a photograph of a young, African American Marine, pistol unholstered, standing over a man who had been beaten, surrounded by a crowd.  I seem to recall that the Marine watched this man being beaten by the crowd, and fearing for the man’s life said “Fuck this” (I’m ad-libbing what he said, but having known a few Marines I feel pretty confident this statement went through his mind) and, in violation of U.S. policy, whipped out his pistol and held the crowd at bay.  He saved the man’s life.

Like I said, my memory may have butchered the events.  For some reason I think it was in the early 1980s, but I’m not sure the Marines were there then – maybe it was during Operation Uphold Democracy in the 1990s?  Maybe I’ve totally botched it and it was a different nation?  The photo was etched in my brain, and for whatever reason I associate that photo with the concept of the Strategic Corporal because as I remember it, once the photo hit the news U.S. policy was changed to permit the Marines to use force in defense of others.  It’s one of my favorite images and I used to have a copy of it but I lost it a few years ago.

Anyway, I can’t find the photograph anywhere.  If anyone has a link to that photo and could post it I would be thrilled.  Also, if anyone knows of the incident I am talking about and can correct my recollection I’ll send you a free Internets.

Ok, this may be of amusement only to me, but I’ll tell you guys real quickly how I almost became the Strategic Lieutenant.  I was in Kuwait and was driving one of those little rented SUVs down the road with my star NCO and we got lost in downtown Kuwait City (before you send the “lost lieutenant” jokes my way keep in mind I was DRIVING – there was an NCO in the TC slot, so hah!).  This was when we were coming through on our way back from Iraq.  We were in major traffic, stopped in the middle of some kind of huge market.  People were walking all over, and we were doing a poor job of maintaining situational awareness.  I had a cell phone with an emergency number taped to it, a pistol and one magazine.  For some reason I can’t remember, my NCO had  long rifle instead of an M4.

As we were stopped, I saw in the side view mirror this guy walking up behind the car reaching into his waistband.  He was wearing a really long shirt, and it looked very strange how he was reaching in to his pants, where he was located vis a vis our car, etc.  My blood froze and I reached down to yank my pistol out, and I started babbling about the guy behind us.  Well, when I reached down to pull that gat all my NCO knew was that we were very pasty faces in full uniform, stuck in traffic in Kuwait and his LT was freaking out while frantically trying to unholster a weapon.  The look on his face was shear terror, and I have to tell you this was a guy who I never saw afraid, ever, but he really looked like he had just shit his pants.  Hell, my arse nearly sucked all the upholstery off the seat.  He’s trying to swing that rifle around but he can’t because the damn cab of the SUV is so small, he’s so big and the M16 is so long.  I’m trying to get my pistol out, but I can’t because I had it snapped and I got tangled in the seatbelt.  I’m watching this guy in the side view mirror pulling his shirt up and reaching into his waistband and I’m thinking “We just got out of Iraq and we’re going to get gunned down in a Kuwaiti flea market.”  I cannot overemphasize what tourists we must have looked like that day, and how much like the keystone cops we acted.

So, as I’m watching the dude pulls out … a cell phone and walks on by.  Four things occurred to me: (1) I needed to lay off watching The Shield (I had been watching the series on my little DVD player at night), (2) Who the hell keeps a cell phone in their waistband, (3) If that guy intended to shoot some American Soldiers stuck in traffic, he would have easily accomplished it because our sense of security that day was fucking awful, and (4) If I had shot a man in broad daylight in a crowded market situated in a friendly nation solely for using his cell phone, there surely would have been some kind of policy change on something and I would have made the evening news.  I most certainly would have been the Strategic Lieutenant, but not in a good way.  I have no idea what the Status of Forces Agreement (or whatever legal document controls our relationship with Kuwait) says, but I can picture myself being imprisoned in a Kuwaiti jail.

My NCO was so pissed I had made him nearly shit his pants that he wouldn’t speak to me on the way back.  Every now and then he’d just lean over and punch me in the arm as hard as he could.

Sorry for the war story, and the seemingly unrelated train of thoughts I just expelled on to your screen. 

-Dacker

So I turned 40 this year, which is … aggravating, but not really the point of this story.  I was sitting at lunch the other day with my wife and eight year-old son who kept singing “Lordy, Lordy, my dad turned 40,” when my wife commented that she would soon be 40 as well.  My son gets a confused look on his face, looks up at me and says: “I thought you told me women age faster than men?”

Needless to say that comment was not well received.  Hopefully my Christmas gift will get me out of the doghouse – we’ll see.

Christmas.  I hate to sound like Scrooge, but this is the most stressful time of the year for me.  There is so much to do, so many family gatherings, too much time off of work, etc.  I just can’t stand the time leading up to Christmas Day.  But I love Christmas morning, always have.  Like many married couples with family close by we have to split the day between both our families (it was a royal pain in the arse those years my divorced parents refused to speak or gather together).  My wife has a very normal family, for the most part, and we do breakfast at their house on Christmas morning.

Christmas afternoon is reserved for my family, who quite honestly are not normal and are responsible for about half the stress I endure this time of year.  How much do I dislike the Dacker family gathering?  Well, on Christmas Day 2005 I was leading a small group of Soldiers on a mission in Iraq that involved having to fly - I am scared shitless of heights - and I think I’d rather be doing that again.  I got out of Thanksgiving by taking my wife and son to the Smokey Mountains, but no can do for Christmas.

Work, work, work lately, but I’ve found a little time for fun.  We went to see the movie “2012″ today and we enjoyed it.  My son really liked it, but there were some parts he found a little scary, and there is one “F” bomb uttered.  This movie is not a thinking person’s flick, it’s a series of special FX shots strung together.  It’s long but just never lets up.  It’s corny, silly, cliche-ridden, and will make your eyes bleed, but we enjoyed it.  If you like movies that take you on a ride then this is worth the price of admission.  In fact, I don’t think it would be a very good rental unless you have a theatre-sized screen in your home and and the same kind of sound system – it pretty much has to be seen in the theatre.

Besides movies I’ve been playing those computer games I told you about (Modern Warfare 2 and Dragon Age).  I also started playing Dungeons & Dragons Online again.  If anyone plays I’m on the Argonnessen server as “Dacker Dondago.”  If you’re into D&D it’s pretty fun, but just like with the pen-and-paper game it does require some research before you begin if you want to get the most out of it.

Well, that’s all for today folks, cheers!.

-Dacker

*Edit: I misspelled my freakin’ name!

Folks!

I am real sorry I haven’t posted in so long.  I’ve had tons of stuff steal damn near all my free time lately, but all of it in a good way.  Here’s what I’ve been doing:

 - Partnered up with a friend of mine (merged and moved our businesses, which is a colossal pain in the ass).  We are effectively one business as of Monday of last week.  I won’t even begin to go through the obstacles we faced, everything from employee problems to IT problems to a massive phone problem the day of the move.
 - Took a vacation to the Smokey Mountains for Thanksgiving.  Stayed in a wonderful mountain cabin with only my immediate family.  First vacation I’ve had since January 2006 (if you can count two days in Vegas a vacation), and it was so worth it,  Everything, from the drive there and back, Thanksgiving dinner itself, the events we participated in, the shopping, was stress-free.  I want to go back.
 - Playing the hell out of a bunch of PC Games: Modern Warfare 2, Dragon Age: Origins, Grid, and Aion.
 - Working as usual.

There’s a few things I’d like to write about and I’ll get to it soon.  Sorry for dropping out of the real world for so long.

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving, too!

Cheers,
-Dacker

I was cruising the list of blogs Hope has listed on her site and came across this video over on A Soldier’s Perspective. The video was apparently created by something called the 545 Project (no clue). I usually hate those crappy YouTube videos put together with crappy music and ham-handedly designed to send some kind of political message with all the subtlety of a fart in church, but this one kinda grabbed me. Just make sure you turn your speakers off.

Cheers,
-Dacker

Quick post courtesy of the great people over at IAVA.  Thanks to their efforts, service members who were retained in the military past their ETS, retirement or separation date may be entitled to $500 per month “overtime” for each month affected.  You have to apply to your military branch no later than October 21, 2010.  Here’s the IAVA video that explains it:

And here’s the link to their site: IAVA Stop-Loss Payment.

About time this happened, but unfortunately people plucked out of the IRR aren’t eligible which is horseshit.

-Dacker

This doesn’t have anything to do with the military, but I figured “what the hell, it’s my blog.”

I am a computer game geek.  I have been playing computer games since my Dad bought me an Atari 800back in what ever year those came out.  I am not into X-Box or PS3.  I own a Wii only so I can play stuff with the family (and I have a Wii Fit collecting dust).  I play games from damn near every genre, but my favorite games are RPGs (the ones with elves in them) and first person shooters with stories.  Unfortunately, it’s been a long time since a really good game from either genre has been released.  In fact, the last great RPG was the Baldur’s Gate series, and the last FPS that really gripped me was Half-Life 2.

I am really psyched about two games that are set to be released next month: Dragon Age: Origins and Modern Warfare 2.  Just check out the trailers for each:

I haven’t looked forward to a game release like this in eons, and there’s two hopefully great ones coming. Yeah, I know tons of people are pissed about the server issue with MW2, but here’s a little bit of blasphemy for you: I don’t play multi-player, so I don’t care.  And I wish Bioware had been able to hang on to the D&D license, but I have faith they have created a world worth playing in.

I also play MMOs, and up until a year or so ago I could have claimed that I have played just about every commercial  MMO that’s come out – and even one that wasn’t released.  I played MUDs in college, Neverwinter Nights back on AOL in the early 1990s, Meridian 59, and Ultima Online.  Everquest hit and I was addicted for YEARS.  Dark Age of Camelot, Star Wars Galaxies, Earth and Beyond (beta), and on and on.  Currently, I regularly play Eve Online, Dungeons and Dragons Online, Lord of the Rings Online and recently started checking out Aion Online.  Yes, I know, I am a massive geek and if I wasn’t married would probably never get laid.  One game I could never get into is the 900 pound gorilla, World of Warcraft.  Basically, I find it pretty boring and full of people I’d never willingly associate with in real life.

So yeah, that has nothing to do with the theme of this blog, and from what I understand it’s a cardinal sin to deviate from a blog’s theme.  But I figured my readers (all 2 of them – thanks Hope and Coffey!) might want to know a little about me.  Oh, and I almost never watch TV except for Hell’s Kitchen (they’re casting now!), Kitchen Nightmares and The F Word.  And I have an autographed photo of Gordon Ramsay and it’s the only celebrity autograph I own.  Ok, enough for now.

Cheers,

-Dacker

Lots of changes in my life going on right now, and many of them are good.  One in particular may be incoming, and if it happens I’ll have tons of interesting stuff to write about.  But, on to my second visit to the VA…

I had to make another trip over to the VA today and once again I encountered The Creature from the VA.  Luckily, I didn’t have to deal with this Gatekeeper for long since the people I needed to see were in a different part of the building.  I was there for the second part of my Compensation & Pension exam, and I must say once again I was struck with the incongruity of personalities within the VA.  The receptionist in this part of the building was polite and helpful.  The nurse practitioner who conducted the physical exam was likewise courteous and easy to deal with.  The shrink (yeah, yeah, I know, but I’m not completely crazy I swear!) was a young guy, but he too was pleasant and took extra time to explain the process.

These people went out of their way to make me feel special just for being a vet.  I am not the kind of guy who expects to be treated a certain way just because I served in the military, and I generally frown on people who demand “respect” just because of their service.  That’s not the point I’m trying to convey.  But when your job is to deal with vets, some of whom have problems or issues that are a little bit unique because of their service, it’s helpful when you treat your “customers” decently.  Going for a physical exam is stressful to many people (me included).  Going to see a shrink to discuss things that normally aren’t discussed is super-stressful.  Why, then, would the VA permit people to work for them that add an unnecessary level of discomfort to the process?

Take the receptionist that was on duty when I went to leave.  I walked up and politely told him I thought I was finished.  Keep in mind there are no signs or directions explaining what one does when the exams are over.  I didn’t know if I was supposed to check out, or what.  Anyway, this guy looks at me and in response says “yes?”  The attitude was “so what?” and was designed to make me feel stupid for not knowing what to do next.  I asked him if I needed to check out, and the answer was ‘No?”  Now, the reason I put a question mark on the end of that “no” was because that’s the way he said it – with a lilt at the end, as if the answer “no” was a question being asked of me.  I asked him about a travel voucher, and I received an exasperated response from the guy.  Again, the tone was condescending and the guy seemed aggravated because I was making him work.  I said to myself “fark it” and just left in the middle of the conversation without a travel voucher.  It just wasn’t worth the $40 bucks or whatever to have to deal with this useless stereotypical low-level government employee.

Now I was probably already hypersensitive because I had just come out of the shrink’s office and had to dredge up some stuff I don’t normally bring to the forefront of my mind, but dammit (damnit? I am never sure about the correct spelling of this curse) this dude was less than three feet from the shrink’s office.  So this guy is probably condescending and unhelpful to vets of all ages and all levels of crazy on a daily basis.  Man, that’s just sad.  Dealing with this turd really pissed me off and put me in a bad mood, but I’m a big boy and will get over it.  But what about the poor vet who is mentally in worse shape.  Shouldn’t the VA be a place where vets feel like they are important and worthy of help?

If you haven’t guessed, I have a real pet peeve for people who suckle from the government teat and don’t perform their duties at 100%.  I hold those people to a higher standard because I help pay their salary and if I don’t get a proper level of service I can’t vote with my checkbook by shopping at a competitor.  If one is going to feed from the public trough then one should earn the feed.  Unfortunately, while in the military I was exposed to far too many government employees who treated their position as a form of welfare.  Most work hard at their jobs, but the losers are the ones who stick in my memory and the system as designed really fosters them.

Okay, that’s a topic I could go on and on about, but I should probably get off my soapbox now.  Instead, I’ll post this Happy Halloween photo!

Why yes, the pumpkin on the right DOES say “Go F**K Yourself.”

-Dacker

So I go to the VA hospital today, and it’s the first time I’ve been there.  I have to visit the main hospital first, and man let me tell you, it’s the saddest place I’ve ever been in.  From the very moment I walked in I saw just a sea of people – vets from all eras, in a variety of conditions.  The place is very large, but it’s not large enough.  They have attempted to maximize the space, and have resorted to rather creative means to do so.

I was just there for X-Rays, but I’ve heard and read the horror stories of dealing with VA staff.  I looked over the throng of people and made out the information desk off in the distance.  The two people there looked very busy, but it only took a few moments for me to move up in line.  As I stood waiting my turn I observed how helpful and patient they two were in dealing with the older vets in front of me.  When my turn came the helper even managed a short laugh, commenting that from the expression on my face he could tell where I needed to go – and he was right.  He gave me directions and off I went, wondering how he managed to stay chipper with all that he dealt with.

I made my way to X-Rays and was greeted immediately by another helper.  She took my information and told me to have a seat.  I settled in, thinking “this is the government, it will be awhile.”  Less than five minutes later the guy who takes the X-Rays (radiology techs?) called my name.  He was older than me, maybe mid to late 40s, and very pleasant.  He was training someone that day, and I could hear him behind the screen saying things like “you see, these poor guys have to carry tons of weight for years, and it all settles here on this spot” (presumably he was pointing at a spot on my x-ray), and “the beating these guys get on their bodies is rough, so you have to take the pic this way” (guess he meant aim the x-ray thing a certain way).  He said it loud enough for me to hear him, and I think he meant it to demonstrate the respect he had for the service members he worked on.

The guy also has tremendous passion for his job.  He kept talking about getting the “money” shot on certain x-rays, and would retake them.  Now granted, hearing the term “money shot” while one is lying on one’s side on a bed, with pants down around knees, in the fetal position, knees to chest, is a little bit alarming.  But again, he was referring to the quality of his work and it’s obvious he loved his job.

Great, so far.  My experience with the main hospital was sad, but I was overjoyed with how I and the people I observed were treated.

Now, fast forward two hours later.  I have an easy appointment over at a brand new clinic.  The place is so lax that there are maybe 10 cars in the front of the lot, and I park right up front.  I walk in and there’s one older vet waiting and myself.  I look up and behind the counter is a creature I am far more familiar with: the pinched expression, wrinkles around the mouth from too much smoking and frowning, the condescending demeanor, the ubiquitous bouffant hairdo – this, my friends, is the stereotypical low-level government employee.  They may be beaten by their spouse at home, raising a grand-baby because their 16 year-old daughter ran off with a dealer; their son is in prison, and the employee herself has considered eating a gun on more than one occasion, but when they step behind that government-issued counter they…are…God.  “Crikey” I thought.

Rather than engage this creature directly, I simply handed over my paperwork.  I no longer say “good afternoon,” “how are you,” “how they hangin,” etc. to this type and I don’t expect them to use such niceties on me.  I was not disappointed.  The creature took the paperwork and started typing.  A few minutes later the paperwork was returned to me and I was instructed to have a seat.

As I sat there, I got the chance to see the creature in action.  First, one of the nurses/doctors came out with a patient and instructed the creature to reschedule her follow-up at a different time.  The creature proceeded to tell the nurse/doctor how upset another department would be, so the nurse/doctor stood there explaining to what is essentially the receptionist all the reasons why the rescheduling was necessary.  The nurse/doctor was obviously too young to simply say “Because I fucking said so.”  So I got to see the tug-of-war go on, with the creature finally muttering “well they won’t be pleased.”  Then I got to hear a phone call from a guy who had moved to the area recently and needed to transfer (or whatever it’s called) his benefits so he could see a doctor here.  The creature rattled off what sounded like a rule that had to be followed, and the phone number to call, and seemed exasperated the vet didn’t already know it.  There was no empathy, compassion, care if he even actually understood what she was saying.  Finally, a guy came in and needed an adjustment on his hearing aids and the creature initially told him no, because he didn’t have an appointment.  After a few moments, the vet remembered the name of the rep that told him to stop by and her response was “Well, he doesn’t have hours here so he has no business telling you that.”  She then goes on about how it’s putting everyone out by having to find time for someone to see this old vet.  Shit, I’m looking around and there’s me and one other guy there, and it’s only 2:00 p.m.

Why these people exist is beyond me.  Absolutely no care for the increased stress they cause in the lives of people who, quite frankly, don’t need it and sometimes aren’t in the best of shape to handle it.  She wasn’t the most awful employee or worst person I’d ever encountered, she was just the most prevalent government employee.  And that kinda sucks.

Blowing off steam, sorry.

-Dacker

Oops!  I find this terribly funny.  I sent the below link to a friend of mine who thought I was serious:

Somali Cruises

Cheers!

-Dacker

What a difficult decision to have to make, to send Troops in harm’s way.

Sending more people means more U.S Troops will die.  That’s the cold, hard, blunt truth. It means more combat deaths and it means more non-combat related deaths.  Some of those people killed may be friends of mine. All of those people are brothers and sisters of mine.

But here’s the thing, folks: losing or giving up in that region will have a ripple effect that is likely to last a very long time and ultimately cost way more lives.  People who want to hurt us for no other reason than the beliefs we hold dear will be permitted to run amuck – recruiting, building, planning.  Those people have already demonstrated their capabilities and ruthlessness.  If we give up then we should go all the way and effectively remove ourselves from the world stage.  Isolate ourselves.  Because if the bad guys win in that region, God help us if we make a future foreign policy decision that rubs them the wrong way.  (That was sarcasm, folks – I’m not advocating it).

What a PR boon for militant islamists everywhere should the U.S. and its allies run away.  What will that cost us in American lives down the road, I wonder.  It’s not just a loss of face it’s a loss of power.  That power that the U.S. wields is what lets me go to sleep at night and only vaguely worry that bad guys from afar will blow up my family on the way to school tomorrow.  As a Soldier, I considered myself a protector of innocents, and, with the exception of one cowardly field grade officer, damn near everyone I served with felt the same way.  I didn’t want to die, and more importantly I didn’t want anyone I worked with to get hurt or die (that wish didn’t come true).  But even more than not wanting to die, I didn’t want to lose.  Not because of some silly notion of competitiveness, but because I could see the long-term results of loss.  To me the keys to loss included::

• leaving the region to fend for itself
• mistreating civilians so that they hated us
• failing to interact with the local populace with a human face, thus ensuring they perceived us as robotic invaders
• failing to learn as much of the local culture as possible so we could be sure and offend
• permitting bad guys to terrorize the locals
• failing to take swift action against government corruption
• refusing to shore up the local infrastructure so that the people would have no urgent care, law enforcement, clean water or electricity
• basically, anything that turned civilians away from us and on to the bad guys

You see, in my simple little mind a loss degrades the sacrifices my buddies have made.  It’s like “what was the fucking point?”  I know the decision to act on General McChrystal’s recommendations for more troops is a difficult one.  But dammit, small unit leaders in Iraq and Afghanistan are making tough decisions under very hostile and imminent conditions every single day, and many of those decisions by those kids are made knowing there’s a decent chance someone will die or be seriously hurt.

I’ve read and heard so many arguments about what we “should” do: “kill ‘em all,” “pull our ‘boys’ home,” “give everyone over there X-Boxes so they’ll have something else to do.”  (okay, that last one was my idea but I’ll have to explain its origin later).  If we want to win we have to make the people over there feel safe.  Not “American Safe,” but safe within the parameters of their own completely different culture.  Americanizing them isn’t going to work, but we can help.  It’s going to take more Troops, more civilian support, greater assistance from other countries and (most importantly) political will for the long haul.  This is not going to be a war we “win” and then bring everyone home.  This is going to be a commitment.  Deal with it, peeps, the face of the world has changed.

I haven’t been able to post lately for a few reasons, and I was really planning on writing something funny, or maybe tell another Army story where I was the butt of a joke.  But my concern about the decision making process over the future of Afghanistan has taken center-stage in my thoughts lately.  I am truly terrified the wrong decision will be made.  I’m concerned that if we begin to pull out there will be troops placed unnecessarily in danger (my short-term fear).  I’m concerned that my son, who is lying next to me in the bed with the flu as I type this, and his generation will inherit a horrible set of problems should we act short-sightedly (long-term fear).  I wish I was a better writer, more articulate, so I could more accurately express my worries.  I know I was just a peon junior Cav officer when I served, and that my service was in Iraq, but I’m telling you if we (the galactic we) screw this one up we and our kids will pay the price.

Someone more articulate than me put together a good post over at BlackFive.  I know it’s kinda old, but it’s worth the quick read.  Here it is.

Thanks.

-Dacker